indulgence

Life is indeed nothing but a series of ups and down in our life condition. Yesterday, when I was so bogged down with my 'race against time' this very alluding factor called time stood still when I went saree shopping today!!crisscrossing through the cascade of colours and fabrics seemed to take me to a world where time was not so fleeting. the colours, the textures, the smell, it seemed to wave at the passer-by with the same strong desire to unite with a buyer, with the incorrigible wish to adorn some female body with affection and appreciation. I gave into such a craving by a window hanging pink chikan; as if beckoned me to take it with me. I went away, then came back again, fearing what if I was too 'late'. again time took an anxious corner in my heart and I hurriedly bought it without a second thought. yes a love at first sight. no speculation. I rarely have such conviction in deciding certain things about myself. next the lazy steps took me to another emporium and eyes were running up and down, rolling and spinning on the tassar section and it stopped at a bhagal puri tassar. though it was a small fight between a rust coloured tassar and this red and gree bhagalpuri, without much fight, a simple glance at the mirror, brought the bhagalpuri an easy win. Some times, being captive of the time or better called tradition, pulled me towards a bomkai and here too without much competition, the display blue and black won with high margin! de-stressing by shopping is an extremely expensive therapy, specially for a govt.paid part time lecturer...nevertheless it was a welcome relief, despite the heat and sweat. its a pleasure only women, precisely indian saree loving women will reckon with. the soul-filling calmness and tinkling feeling when you touch the silk fabric is something out wordly at times. I can spend any given day, week, month, buying buying and buying sarees and it accessories. I Thank God for being born in India and in a city where I can easily access the various treasures of our varied stateemporiums in diverse fabrics. A day well spent. Is this a process of growing up to be an Indian women? well, I so far haven't felt the love for gold jewelry yet, when that happens, god save me! and more precisely my husband! :)

when we are racing against time whom we actually racing against? more importantly what will we win after winning this race? will I be able to freeze time? will I be able to buy more time or will I be ahead of time? I guess none. Even for the time I do win against time, I will never be able to store it or save it. Then what's the rush? why the hurry? I have no clue. I don't even have the clue why am I even writing this? May be because I am too tired in this race....may be I am too competitive or optimistic to even think I can win this race, or may be too foolish to even think I can "save" time in my bank account and reap some interest out of it..whatever is the case writing or pondering about time is a waste of time in itself. I am thoroughly overwhelmed with the supposed concept of time or more so the LACK of it, hence this gibberish coming out.